If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
