she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
