Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Two words: nipple clamps
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