it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize