You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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