There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize