A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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