mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
