I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
