i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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