Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
