everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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