I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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