What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
