Three words: puerto rican gang bang
where am i from again
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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