If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
