I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
