I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
