My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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