I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
