Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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