you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
