i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
