dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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