mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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