it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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