I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
