i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
