Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
