my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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