So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
