It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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