I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
