Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
