you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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