ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
