i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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