if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
