i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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