there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she peed on how many people?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
