You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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