i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
