found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There r osticjed everywhere
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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