His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
