Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
