come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
