this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
