i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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