I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
