Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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