The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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