So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My balls are so social today.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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