when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
