her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
