yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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