Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
