i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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