my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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