Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
