We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
