I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize