I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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