if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
