im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
